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Title: L.A.'s Gonna Eat You Alive: The Diary of Matt Giraud
Fandom: American Idol
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Matt/Adam, Megan/Anoop, mentions of Kris and Dadam, and if you squint really hard you'll see Gokey, Allison and Tatiana
Disclaimer: OMG never happened. And no, I don't believe that Matt Giraud is this stupid in real life.
Genre: slash, AU, sheer idiocy
Words: 10,444
Summary: You think you know, but you have no idea. Or whatever they used to say on MTV. Man, I love having deep thoughts.
Based on: Story format of Bridget Jones's Diary, premise of Ugly Betty. (Think, Matt's fedora = Betty's Guadalajara poncho.) And one scene influenced by the Iron Man film.
Warning: You know how everybody hates first person POV, run-on sentences, capslock, messy tense-switching and nonsensical, cartoony characterizations? This fic has ALL OF THAT.
A/N: So, if you thought my last Matt/Adam story was nuts? THIS IS EVEN STUPIDER. This shit. It is bananas. But I laughed so hard while writing it, and I think this may be my favorite Anoop characterization yet. This fic is like an extended version of the Danny__Gokey parody Twitter. But for Matt.
Dedication: I wrote this as a thank you gift for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
phaballa, who sat through two weeks and four revisions and multiple episodes of my angst and self-loathing to help me turn Sick Cycle Carousel into Something I Don't Actually Hate. ♥ So as a token of my gratitude, I present the 10,000-word version (original excerpt here) where everybody turns into a Mary Sue. IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.
Title taken from: A John Mayer song, of course.
( I don't know how much actual work I'm getting done as Adam's PA, because my 'job' mostly involves helping him pick out which sequined belt to wear (I had no idea 'purple or iridescent white?' would be such a hard question), answering all his ex-boyfriends' voice mails in my Gay Robin Williams voice while I pretend I'm Adam's boyfriend, and sometimes going to music clubs for 'talent discovery' when we're really just trying out all the drinks in the city. )
Fandom: American Idol
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Matt/Adam, Megan/Anoop, mentions of Kris and Dadam, and if you squint really hard you'll see Gokey, Allison and Tatiana
Disclaimer: OMG never happened. And no, I don't believe that Matt Giraud is this stupid in real life.
Genre: slash, AU, sheer idiocy
Words: 10,444
Summary: You think you know, but you have no idea. Or whatever they used to say on MTV. Man, I love having deep thoughts.
Based on: Story format of Bridget Jones's Diary, premise of Ugly Betty. (Think, Matt's fedora = Betty's Guadalajara poncho.) And one scene influenced by the Iron Man film.
Warning: You know how everybody hates first person POV, run-on sentences, capslock, messy tense-switching and nonsensical, cartoony characterizations? This fic has ALL OF THAT.
A/N: So, if you thought my last Matt/Adam story was nuts? THIS IS EVEN STUPIDER. This shit. It is bananas. But I laughed so hard while writing it, and I think this may be my favorite Anoop characterization yet. This fic is like an extended version of the Danny__Gokey parody Twitter. But for Matt.
Dedication: I wrote this as a thank you gift for
phaballa, who sat through two weeks and four revisions and multiple episodes of my angst and self-loathing to help me turn Sick Cycle Carousel into Something I Don't Actually Hate. ♥ So as a token of my gratitude, I present the 10,000-word version (original excerpt here) where everybody turns into a Mary Sue. IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.Title taken from: A John Mayer song, of course.
( I don't know how much actual work I'm getting done as Adam's PA, because my 'job' mostly involves helping him pick out which sequined belt to wear (I had no idea 'purple or iridescent white?' would be such a hard question), answering all his ex-boyfriends' voice mails in my Gay Robin Williams voice while I pretend I'm Adam's boyfriend, and sometimes going to music clubs for 'talent discovery' when we're really just trying out all the drinks in the city. )
Title: Turn a No into a Yes in Ten Tour Dates (Matt Giraud Shows You How!)
Fandom: American Idol
Rating: R
Pairing: Matt Giraud/Adam Lambert
Disclaimer: OMG never happened.
Genre: slash, crack, crack, more crack
Words: 3,965
Timeline: Idols Live! Tour (July - September 2009)
Summary: No, there is nothing weird about making ten separate attempts and non-attempts to blow Adam. Matt thinks it's an awesome idea, no matter how many times Anoop rolls his eyes.
Based on: How I Met Your Mother, Season 3, Episode 13: "Ten Sessions"
A/N: LOL IDEK. Seriously, this is quite stupid. Although the running joke with Kris is probably my favorite thing I've ever written. Anyway, this is my second attempt at crack -- the first one, which is much crackier, is still undergoing some editing, and should be up in a few days. (And click here to check out my Matty G. theories!)
Pointers: QED: Originally Latin meaning "quod erat demonstrandum" or "which was to be shown or proven", now used mainly by physics students to insult someone when something is proven wrong or false.
( I've got nothing to lose. I think being known as the guy who did really awesome things to Adam's dick would actually make me more famous. )
Fandom: American Idol
Rating: R
Pairing: Matt Giraud/Adam Lambert
Disclaimer: OMG never happened.
Genre: slash, crack, crack, more crack
Words: 3,965
Timeline: Idols Live! Tour (July - September 2009)
Summary: No, there is nothing weird about making ten separate attempts and non-attempts to blow Adam. Matt thinks it's an awesome idea, no matter how many times Anoop rolls his eyes.
Based on: How I Met Your Mother, Season 3, Episode 13: "Ten Sessions"
A/N: LOL IDEK. Seriously, this is quite stupid. Although the running joke with Kris is probably my favorite thing I've ever written. Anyway, this is my second attempt at crack -- the first one, which is much crackier, is still undergoing some editing, and should be up in a few days. (And click here to check out my Matty G. theories!)
Pointers: QED: Originally Latin meaning "quod erat demonstrandum" or "which was to be shown or proven", now used mainly by physics students to insult someone when something is proven wrong or false.
( I've got nothing to lose. I think being known as the guy who did really awesome things to Adam's dick would actually make me more famous. )
Title: Sick Cycle Carousel (2/2)
Rating: R
Pairing: Kris/Adam
A/N: (The self-indulgent babbling -- and fanmix! -- deserved its own post.)
( Some people don't cry. Some people fuck their best friends into oblivion, write songs about them, and leave stalkery messages on their ex-wives' voicemail. It happens. It's...normal. Ish. )
Rating: R
Pairing: Kris/Adam
A/N: (The self-indulgent babbling -- and fanmix! -- deserved its own post.)
( Some people don't cry. Some people fuck their best friends into oblivion, write songs about them, and leave stalkery messages on their ex-wives' voicemail. It happens. It's...normal. Ish. )
Title: Sick Cycle Carousel (1/2)
Fandom: American Idol
Rating: R
Pairing: Kris/Adam, with Katy, the other Idols, and a bunch of media dudes (Cantiello, Slezak, Seacrest, etc.)
Disclaimer: OMG never happened.
Genre: slash, and...I'd call it "dramedy" rather than "angst," but whatever.
Words: 12,733
Timeline: August 2009 (mid-tour) - January 2010
Summary: In which Kris feels like an asshole most of the time, uses his best friend for sex, torpedoes his marriage, calls Matt a whore, becomes a tabloid star, and doesn't cry. All missteps in the right direction.
Warning: If the concepts of of divorce, joyless fucking and dysfunctional!Kris turn you off, you might not want to read this. (Mind you, I'm a hardcore Kris stan, so this isn't an attempt at character assassination. I'd call it character exploration, maybe?)
A/N: (The self-indulgent babbling deserved its own post.)
Special thanks to: This is my first time getting beta-ed, and I couldn't have picked better people: 1) SRS BSNS LAWYER beta,jehane18, who kept me in line, made sure all the legal aspects were factually correct, all while being super nice and a little drunk. 2) The lovely and insightful arjumand, who pulled me out of my whiny "OMG, I hate iiiiiiit" Teflon Drama phase. 3) Brilliant pop culture guru phaballa, who is really fucking funny and totes adorable in her seething (and contagious) hatred of Jive Records. BB practically co-wrote this, she's awesome with the introspection and one-liners. I'd also like to thank conditionelle, because it's her enthusiasm that turned this from "plot bunny I was trying to ignore" to "actualfax fic."
Fanmix: Download here. I also included one with separate files, lyric snippets and my commentary here, but it contains spoilers.
Art: The framazingkatekat1010 made a movie poster here! ♥______♥
( You're like Nick Lachey, but with actual talent. What's left of you, anyway. )
Fandom: American Idol
Rating: R
Pairing: Kris/Adam, with Katy, the other Idols, and a bunch of media dudes (Cantiello, Slezak, Seacrest, etc.)
Disclaimer: OMG never happened.
Genre: slash, and...I'd call it "dramedy" rather than "angst," but whatever.
Words: 12,733
Timeline: August 2009 (mid-tour) - January 2010
Summary: In which Kris feels like an asshole most of the time, uses his best friend for sex, torpedoes his marriage, calls Matt a whore, becomes a tabloid star, and doesn't cry. All missteps in the right direction.
Warning: If the concepts of of divorce, joyless fucking and dysfunctional!Kris turn you off, you might not want to read this. (Mind you, I'm a hardcore Kris stan, so this isn't an attempt at character assassination. I'd call it character exploration, maybe?)
A/N: (The self-indulgent babbling deserved its own post.)
Special thanks to: This is my first time getting beta-ed, and I couldn't have picked better people: 1) SRS BSNS LAWYER beta,
jehane18, who kept me in line, made sure all the legal aspects were factually correct, all while being super nice and a little drunk. 2) The lovely and insightful arjumand, who pulled me out of my whiny "OMG, I hate iiiiiiit" Teflon Drama phase. 3) Brilliant pop culture guru phaballa, who is really fucking funny and totes adorable in her seething (and contagious) hatred of Jive Records. BB practically co-wrote this, she's awesome with the introspection and one-liners. I'd also like to thank conditionelle, because it's her enthusiasm that turned this from "plot bunny I was trying to ignore" to "actualfax fic."Fanmix: Download here. I also included one with separate files, lyric snippets and my commentary here, but it contains spoilers.
Art: The framazing
katekat1010 made a movie poster here! ♥______♥( You're like Nick Lachey, but with actual talent. What's left of you, anyway. )
Despite how tragically tiny my f-list is, I'm locking this because I'm pretty sure I'd be tarred and feathered for writing CRACKY FIRST-PERSON POV MATT!FIC. Also, this story is incomplete.
This is a thank you gift forphaballa, who put so much hard work into betaing (and practically co-writing) my dysfunctional!Kris/Joyless Fucking/Fake Laryngitis story almost everyday for two weeks. I know I'm a hyper-inquisitive pain in the ass, so I figured I owed you something! My modly powers allowed me to see your Bridget Jones request for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
aiholidaybash, and we talked about wanting to see Madam fic, so bam, this semi-story.
I can't write love triangles, though, so I retained the style of Bridget Jones's Diary but borrowed the premise of Ugly Betty:
Betty = Matt
Daniel = Adam
Bradford (if Bradford weren't a total asshole) = Eber
Marc/Amanda/Christina = Anoop
Alexis = Megan (Yep. Megan is Adam's MTF transsexual sister. I know, right?)
I actually laughed my ass off while writing most of it, but then it turned into this convoluted 6,000-word mess where everyone is a Mary Sue, and I'm too annoyed with it to finish at the moment. Buuuuuut I do have a 2,400-word excerpt, and hopefully it makes you laugh a little bit. It's essentially an extended version of the Danny__Gokey parody Twitter, but with Matt. (BTW it's Matt/Adam, one-sided, though they were supposed to end up together in the full-length story.)
...It's the thought that counts? And it's a LOT of thought. Bench, you made me do four things I said I would never do: 1) fic starring Matt Giraud, 2) crack, 3) AU, 4) first person RPS. SO LOL SRY IF I GAVE YOU HALF-BAKED BADFIC AS A GIFT BUT I WORKED HARD ON THIS OKAY. It's for youuuuu.
L.A.'s Gonna Eat You Alive: The Diary of Matt Giraud
You think you know, but you have no idea. Or whatever they used to say on MTV. Man, I love having deep thoughts.
( I slept on the couch because I figured Anoop was a smart guy and you can't have sex with someone while he's passed out, anyway. )
This is a thank you gift for
phaballa, who put so much hard work into betaing (and practically co-writing) my dysfunctional!Kris/Joyless Fucking/Fake Laryngitis story almost everyday for two weeks. I know I'm a hyper-inquisitive pain in the ass, so I figured I owed you something! My modly powers allowed me to see your Bridget Jones request for aiholidaybash, and we talked about wanting to see Madam fic, so bam, this semi-story. I can't write love triangles, though, so I retained the style of Bridget Jones's Diary but borrowed the premise of Ugly Betty:
Betty = Matt
Daniel = Adam
Bradford (if Bradford weren't a total asshole) = Eber
Marc/Amanda/Christina = Anoop
Alexis = Megan (Yep. Megan is Adam's MTF transsexual sister. I know, right?)
I actually laughed my ass off while writing most of it, but then it turned into this convoluted 6,000-word mess where everyone is a Mary Sue, and I'm too annoyed with it to finish at the moment. Buuuuuut I do have a 2,400-word excerpt, and hopefully it makes you laugh a little bit. It's essentially an extended version of the Danny__Gokey parody Twitter, but with Matt. (BTW it's Matt/Adam, one-sided, though they were supposed to end up together in the full-length story.)
...It's the thought that counts? And it's a LOT of thought. Bench, you made me do four things I said I would never do: 1) fic starring Matt Giraud, 2) crack, 3) AU, 4) first person RPS. SO LOL SRY IF I GAVE YOU HALF-BAKED BADFIC AS A GIFT BUT I WORKED HARD ON THIS OKAY. It's for youuuuu.
You think you know, but you have no idea. Or whatever they used to say on MTV. Man, I love having deep thoughts.
( I slept on the couch because I figured Anoop was a smart guy and you can't have sex with someone while he's passed out, anyway. )
Always buzzing just like neon
Aug. 14th, 2009 05:40 pmTitle: What Have I Done to Deserve This?
Fandom: American Idol
Rating: NC-17 for utter debauchery
Pairing: Adam Lambert/Anoop Desai (WILL I EVER LEARN), bonus ass-whooping!Matt
Disclaimer: OMG never happened.
Genre: Slash, humor...hopefully
Words: 3,375
Summary: And Anoop learned to never piss Matt off again. (Or maybe piss him off again and again.)
Contains: Fuzzy pink handcuffs, bunk sex, collegiate pranks, and no redeeming value whatsoever.
A/N: No seriously, the premise came first and I tried to write it with a more popular pairing, but it just wouldn't work: Meganoop had problems logistically, and Kradam wouldn't have been as lulzy (in my head, Adam's reactions would be as follows: Kris handcuffed = "Oh poor baby, let me release you and make sweet, tender love to you," Anoop handcuffed = "LOL FOREVER"). I guess I like this pairing for when I write lighter, funnier stuff. Adamoop: All lulz, no dramz. Oh BTW, I can't quite call this a PWP since it's about 70% banter and 30% sexytimes. ...PWithminimalP?
Special thanks: To my beta,jehane18, who is drunk and horny and an overall bad influence. ILU, Aunt Paula! :) [ETA] And thanks to susycornish for the added "Freckles" reference!
Pointers: 1) Matt bought this really expensive pair of sunglasses, and Anoop never stopped stop teasing him about it. 2) If you've never seen LOST, Sawyer and Kate are two people on the island who have really hot cage!sex.
( This is just me needing to channel my frustration somewhere before I end up beating somebody to death and stealing his ridiculously overpriced sunglasses. )
Fandom: American Idol
Rating: NC-17 for utter debauchery
Pairing: Adam Lambert/Anoop Desai (WILL I EVER LEARN), bonus ass-whooping!Matt
Disclaimer: OMG never happened.
Genre: Slash, humor...hopefully
Words: 3,375
Summary: And Anoop learned to never piss Matt off again. (Or maybe piss him off again and again.)
Contains: Fuzzy pink handcuffs, bunk sex, collegiate pranks, and no redeeming value whatsoever.
A/N: No seriously, the premise came first and I tried to write it with a more popular pairing, but it just wouldn't work: Meganoop had problems logistically, and Kradam wouldn't have been as lulzy (in my head, Adam's reactions would be as follows: Kris handcuffed = "Oh poor baby, let me release you and make sweet, tender love to you," Anoop handcuffed = "LOL FOREVER"). I guess I like this pairing for when I write lighter, funnier stuff. Adamoop: All lulz, no dramz. Oh BTW, I can't quite call this a PWP since it's about 70% banter and 30% sexytimes. ...PWithminimalP?
Special thanks: To my beta,
jehane18, who is drunk and horny and an overall bad influence. ILU, Aunt Paula! :) [ETA] And thanks to susycornish for the added "Freckles" reference!Pointers: 1) Matt bought this really expensive pair of sunglasses, and Anoop never stopped stop teasing him about it. 2) If you've never seen LOST, Sawyer and Kate are two people on the island who have really hot cage!sex.
( This is just me needing to channel my frustration somewhere before I end up beating somebody to death and stealing his ridiculously overpriced sunglasses. )
Title: Little Boxes (2/2)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Adam Lambert/Anoop Desai
Summary 2.0: Worst kept secret ever.
A/N 2.0: Danke schon,phaballa, for pointing out Allison's adorable habit of randomly capitalizing letters. I don't check her Twitter that often so I might've missed it, but I haZ eDitEd iT naO. Thankzzzzzz
( All these guys are famewhores, and not in the charming, adorable way that you are. )
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Adam Lambert/Anoop Desai
Summary 2.0: Worst kept secret ever.
A/N 2.0: Danke schon,
phaballa, for pointing out Allison's adorable habit of randomly capitalizing letters. I don't check her Twitter that often so I might've missed it, but I haZ eDitEd iT naO. Thankzzzzzz( All these guys are famewhores, and not in the charming, adorable way that you are. )
