I let my pain fuck my ego and I called the bastard art

Title: Sue Sylvester: Matchmaker
Fandom: Glee
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Kurt/Puck, Kurt-Sue friendship (yes, really), and I don't want to spoil this one because it'll ruin the punch line, but: brief mention of ( under the cut, highlight to read )
Genre: slash, with faint undertones of crack
Words: 7,607
Summary: The mere sight of Sue Sylvester is enough to make Cupid piss his diapers. That candy-ass little bastard doesn't stand a chance.
A/N: I saw an episode of Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker once. That lady was scary. The show didn't inspire this fic, though -- I was just trying to figure out how I could force Kurt to bond with Sue. Hee.
Featured song: "Poker Face" - Chris Daughtry (Lady Gaga cover)
[ETA 03/15/2009] Cover art: YOU KNOW WHO'S A CHAMPION? thisfishflies IS A CHAMPION:



( I want you to understand one thing: I'm not suddenly going to turn into this lovey-dovey guru just because I started a matchmaking service, okay? Cabo was fun, but now I'm bored. When you're Sue Sylvester, long periods of unproductiveness just won't do. And the Sue Sylvester Hovercraft Fund needs all the contributions it can get. )