Fic Masterlist

[fakeplasticsnow]

fakeplasticsnow's Fic Masterlist
October 2007 - present

Blanket Disclaimer (for all my stories): I do not own any show or character featured in my fan fiction, save for the original characters. All stories are not for profit and written for entertainment purposes only.

Blanket Disclaimer 2.0 (now that I've given in and started writing RPF): All work is purely fictional and not reflective of real events or the personal lives of any individual named in these stories. No infringement, slander or libel is intended.

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Yuri!!! on Ice

If I Ever Get the Nerve (Yuri/Otabek, PG-13)
"Thinking Out Loud did NOT lend itself well to a club mix, so corny speech it is." Proposing was intimidating enough on its own, but how the fuck was one supposed to propose to Yuri "Married People Suck" Plisetsky? While coming up with 15 reasons to convince him, Otabek looks back on the last five years.
Mickey Always Sucked at Gay Chicken (Seung-Gil/Michele, PG-13)
"Playing tonsil hockey with the boy she had a crush on placed Michele firmly in Terrible Brother territory. On the other hand, he was sort of doing her a favor: if things had gone her way, she'd end up in a dysfunctional relationship with a crazy asshole. Michele was only too happy to jump on that grenade for her." Michele would take a bullet for his sister, even if that bullet was the hot, vaguely sociopathic Korean skater who Sara had a major crush on.
Here's to the Mess We Make (Yuri/Otabek, PG-13)
"Fuck you. Fuck you for being kind, for protecting my secrets, and for looking good in a leather jacket. You ruined everything. I like you." Puberty sucks. Feelings suck more. In the wake of a post-Worlds meltdown, Yuri accidentally discovers his artistic identity in a jazz dance class with Otabek and Mila. Along the way, Otabek unleashes his inner Channing Tatum, Yuri discovers his inner Georgi, and Yakov probably loses more hair. Welcome to the madness.

Supernatural

With Nothing (Left) Up My Sleeve (Sam/Castiel, NC-17)
"Up until this point, Dean had always been the Winchester more gung-ho about putting his dick in weird things." As far as coping mechanisms go, this is relatively non-psychotic.

Glee

Razzle Dazzle (Bryan/Will, R)
"There were a million things he could have asked: What the hell is going on here? What are you on? Have you had a thing for me this whole time? Did you lace your lips with arsenic before you kissed me? Is this part of some diabolical scheme to distract me from my glee club? WHAT ARE YOU ON?" Friggin' Bryan Ryan and his stupid magic tricks.
What Education? (Puck/Sue, R)
"I thought crazy shit like this only happened in movies, or Tom Cruise's mansion." Puck and Sue in a heartwarming coming-of-age tale. Or not.
More Fun Than Your Right Hand (Kurt/Mike, PG-13)
"Hey, I watched you do 'Push It.' You can't judge me, all the goods were on display that afternoon. And then you semi-stripped for me earlier. In the library." Kurt is handcuffed to Mike Chang. It's not as kinky as it sounds.
An Ounce of Prevention (is a Pound of Rachel) (Kurt/Mike, Puck/Quinn, PG-13)
"Fair warning, he basically turns this into the Puck's Dick Jokes Hour every week." Dick jokes, pantsuits, Chicago analogies, TMI, ruined slushies, "that's what she said," strawberry-flavored condoms, and vengeful dong-pulling hypothetical fetuses: just another afternoon at Rachel Berry's Safe Sex Awareness Club.
From Scratch (Kurt/Puck, NC-17)
"Like one of those hoity-toity things with a French name or whatever. " Jell-O shots and indecision go hand-in-hand. Also, Puck makes a baking analogy?
Sue Sylvester: Matchmaker (Kurt/Puck, NC-17)
"I want you to understand one thing: I'm not suddenly going to turn into this lovey-dovey guru just because I started a matchmaking service, okay? Cabo was fun, but now I'm bored. When you're Sue Sylvester, long periods of unproductiveness just won't do. And the Sue Sylvester Hovercraft Fund needs all the contributions it can get." The mere sight of Sue Sylvester is enough to make Cupid piss his diapers. That candy-ass little bastard doesn't stand a chance.
Be Yourself and Five Other Cliches (Kurt/Mike, Puck/Quinn, PG-13)
"This is so politically incorrect, I can't even. Augh! Do you want to talk to my two gay dads about your identity crisis? I can set up an appointment. Oh, we can all go to the day spa together, it'll be fun AND educational!" In which Kurt can be butch and Puck can be classy and Mike's terrible at keeping secrets and everybody's in the celibacy club (which Kurt eventually destroys), and why the hell hasn't Matt said anything yet?
What Would Patti LuPone Do? (Kurt/Puck, NC-17)
"Are you two an item? Is this like High School Musical, where the athlete gets together with the innocent looking one with a squeaky high voice, who secretly has a wild side and has naked pictures of herself all over the internet? Kurt, do you have naked pictures of yourself all over the internet? Can I see them? Will Quinn's baby have three fathers? Kurt, does this mean you're gay now?" Liz Phair used to be so awesome. Also: Spanish lessons, fantasy sequences, fun with anagrams, stupid boy feelings, glances across a cafeteria, and an "Incubus," whatever the hell that is.

American Idol (Season 8)

A Million Ways to Be Cruel (Adam/Kris, Matt/Anoop, NC-17)
"It's the St. Jude's School for the Gay and Secretly Gay." The miseducation of Adam Lambert.
L.A.'s Gonna Eat You Alive: The Diary of Matt Giraud (Adam/Matt, Anoop/Megan, R)
"I've never been in love, I have like four categories for people: People I would totally fuck, people I would fuck but only when I'm wasted, people I would fuck but would never admit to fucking, and uggos." You think you know, but you have no idea. Or whatever they used to say on MTV. Man, I love having deep thoughts.
Turn a No into a Yes in Ten Tour Dates (Matt Giraud Shows You How!) (Adam/Matt, R)
"I've got nothing to lose. I think being known as the guy who did really awesome things to Adam's dick would actually make me more famous." No, there is nothing weird about making ten separate attempts and non-attempts to blow Adam. Matt thinks it's an awesome idea, no matter how many times Anoop rolls his eyes.
Sick Cycle Carousel (Adam/Kris, R)
"Some people don't cry. Some people fuck their best friends into oblivion, write songs about them, and leave stalkery messages on their ex-wives' voicemail. It happens. It's...normal. Ish." In which Kris feels like an asshole most of the time, uses his best friend for sex, torpedoes his marriage, calls Matt a whore, becomes a tabloid star, and doesn't cry. All missteps in the right direction.
What Have I Done to Deserve This? (Adam/Anoop, NC-17)
"This is just me needing to channel my frustration somewhere before I end up beating somebody to death and stealing his ridiculously overpriced sunglasses." And Anoop learned to never piss Matt off again. (Or maybe piss him off again and again.)
Little Boxes (Adam/Anoop, NC-17)
"One advantage in having a brain wired like Anoop's is that he can carry a fairly uncomfortable conversation about his sex life while still kicking people's asses at chess." Overthinking is one of Anoop's best and worst habits. Kris Allen's biceps are frightening. And everything started with a joint.
Split Screen Sadness (Adam/Kris, R)
"At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. What does count is that they now know how they feel about each other, and despite the tears and guilt that came as a result of this one night, there is no regret. (We should hope not, anyway.)" A scene-by-scene retelling of the events leading to Adam's tears and the emptiness behind Kris's eyes.
I'm Finding It Harder to be a Gentleman (Adam, Ryan, PG-13)
"...No me diga." There's a power outage, so Adam and Seacrest have some grown-up girl bonding time in the elevator.
Life in Hi-Def is TMTH (Adam, Brad, PG-13)
"Self-Googling is for narcissists with masochistic tendencies. Did you know that someone called me 'tacky?' The nerve!" It's the Idols' first day off in months, and Adam has nothing better to do than stay indoors. Brad comes over to raise hell.

Heroes

How to Tame a Fox (Isaac/Elle, PG-13)
"As somebody with access to the surveillance tapes, I know everything that happened. Regrettably. I intend on relying on time to forget the nitty-gritty of it, but the story as a whole is something I'd be proud to retell." Elle realizes that Isaac isn't just another pet. He bites back, too.
Temporary Blindness (Isaac/Candice, past Isaac/Simone, PG-13)
"How do you think this is going to end? Because trust me, you're not going to be able to keep this up for the rest of your life. Lies never end well, regardless of whether or not you get away with them. You're part of the Company; you of all people should know that." Terrible things happen when Candice takes pity on people; she's really better off just screwing with them. It was too late, however. She'd already used her power to trick Isaac into thinking that nothing bad had happened; that Simone was still alive, and still in love with him. Now it was up to her to maintain the illusion.
The Self-Destruct Button (Isaac, Peter, Eden, PG-13)
"Just leave me alone and let me self-destruct as I please, because there are lots of damaged people out there who actually want to be saved. Go do your 'hero' thing on them. I'm going to die this way. Let me die this way, damn it!" Isaac spends his final night trying to run as far away from reality (and the cops) as he can.
Grief Looks Pretty on You (Isaac/Mohinder, R)
"It was the headache, really. The headache was ordering him to pick a fight with the unfairly attractive Indian guy he'd woken up next to in bed." Nobody is immune from the Kubler-Ross grief cycle, not even the cold, clinical geneticist or the numb, directionless junkie.
Nothing Happened in 1996 (Isaac/Peter, PG-13)
"We've got our arms on each other and we're looking at each other in this weird Kodak moment, and I can't help but burst into laughter, both because I'm high, and because I never have Kodak moments with anyone." Peter discovers that there's a wrong place and a wrong time for everything, and that Isaac has a ridiculously short memory span.
All the Things My Mother Never Wanted Me to Do (Isaac/Eden, PG-13)
"I have no idea what she's up to, anyway, so I just stare up at the stars while waiting for her to finish. So, this is New York, and I'm in this dank alley about to get high with some weird punk chick I'd just met. Awesome." The corruption of a young Isaac Mendez by a brunette in spike-heeled boots.
It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To (Isaac, Ted, PG-13)
"I'm Ted Sprague, by the way. Former dialysis machine salesman, now an unintentional serial killer." "Isaac Mendez. Artist-slash-drug addict, and unintentional ex-girlfriend murderer." The day before he dies, Isaac finds that he's not alone in his misery.
Are You Going My Way? (Isaac, Eden, PG-13)
"You know where we are. Don't they have myths about these things? Life flashes before your eyes, warm light at the end of the tunnel?" She's been waiting for him for a while now, but it's worth it to see the smile on his face when he finds out where he's going.
The Form That My Grief Has Taken (Isaac/Peter, past Isaac/Simone, PG-13)
"Oh, really? This whole time, you've been casting longing glances at me repeatedly because...you want to copy my hairstyle? You're aching for a scotch? God knows those appletinis Simone's been forcing on you couldn't be much fun. Oh, let me guess -- you're craving this cigarette? 'Cause I could give you a taste." Isaac decides that he wants to play with Simone's new boy toy, too.
Actually, It Did Hurt When I Fell From Heaven (Isaac/future!Peter, NC-17)
"Well, we could take a second and realize that this is going to be a really bad idea, and that we're both going to hate each other even more afterwards, or we could ignore the rational parts of ourselves completely and just throw all caution to the wind, because I fucking hate having my pants on right now." Isaac doesn't appreciate Peter saving his life, he doesn't appreciate the other thing Peter does to him, and above all, he doesn't appreciate Peter tearing his favorite wifebeater to shreds. Peter, of course, doesn't give a damn.
Dancing and Distraction (One Singular Sensation) (one-sided Isaac/Peter, Peter/Simone, R)
"Peter gives up on trying to fight the fantasy. This is all Isaac's fault, and Peter hates him just a little bit right now for utterly ruining whatever chances he had with Simone. If only Isaac hadn't laughed that afternoon, or touched his forearm that night, this would be entirely different." When Peter finally gets what he wants, he realizes he wants something else. Or, more specifically, someone else.
The Difference Between Flight and a Death Wish (Isaac/Peter, PG-13)
"If these two are any indication, then Heaven (or Hell) is just a loft full of people I've fucked before. And that would be very awkward...and crowded." Isaac has a penchant for taking advantage of naive and lonely people.

Misc. fandoms

Grey's Anatomy: Don't Stand So Close to Me (Derek/Izzie, R)
"That's not very healthy, Dr. Stevens." One inebriated Izzie and one helpless Derek in a first-class flight to Texas results in a plane ride that they'd both rather forget. Welcome to the Mile High Club, doctors.
The History Boys: Conquering Poland (Dakin/Irwin, R)
"It always made Irwin grin a little and then glance down, nervously, aware of Dakin's machinations and pretending to be unfazed, but secretly liking it. Much like he's doing now." They're not in the subjunctive anymore, even if it took them ten years to get there.

Fic Challenges:

Fic Challenge	Table	Character/Pairing	Status
un_love_you	here	Isaac Mendez	12/30
12_stories	here	Isaac/Peter	3/12
paliphrase	here	(various fandoms)	2/10
5drunkfics	here	Isaac Mendez	4/5
tragedyoptional	here	Heroes	1/1

Other links:

• Introductory Post #1 ("Narm! And other things")
  
• Introductory Post #2 ("Wilkommen, bienvenue")
  
• Ask the Author: fakeplasticsnow
  
• Five words meme